Thoughts..Amplified
Friday, March 23

Sorry for neglecting my site for so long.. il try recap what ive been through in the past week that kept me so busy.. Firstly, assignment overload all due this month.. That im finding it a lil difficult to progress in because of tight sched and coming home so tired after long days... im still currently working on it so insyaallah il get it all done in time.

Secondly, training and training for the tournament... i should say that the positive outcome of all that was learning to improve more and getting tips from the pro.. but the bad side of it was ending up with a really terrible wrist injury just in the middle of the tourney.. so yea, i did manage to enter the semi-finals for both categories, the Women's Championship and Mix Championship Challenge but i had to play while enduring the pain i felt each time i swang the racquet... it did affect the results unfortunately.. i couldnt perform at my best so i was quite upset about that and for disappointing my coach :(.. i did have tears at the end of the Women's category.. i just knew i couldve played better.. Dint really mind so much about the Mix category coz its obviously hard to play against a man, especially when my opponent was the President of the Uni Squash Club.. So i was quite happy to have went as far as i did.. But oh well.. syukur sajalah.. Second runner up and two trophies aint that bad for a start.. Thanks to my sis who came to support me, and also my friends! meant a lot... love you guys..

Here's a shot after the prize presentation.. the finalists for the women's category..
















Another close friend of mine also left in the past week.. yes again!! a tearful scene at the airport.. so many have left sudah, haiyo babes.. bepakat kamu kah to leave me here.. hehe. Nway, hope she's doing fine there in Korea.. well actually, having noticed her nicks.. think she aint finding it hard there wif 'k-hunks' around.. hehe. :p babe, if u read this, u better banar2 balik in a coupla months!! hehe.

Oryte.. what else.. let's see.. an update on the relationship part... hmm.. think its best that im really taking time alone now.. other than that "no comment".. *shrugs*

XXIII blogged @12:35 AM;

Friday, February 23

have you ever been so upset at yourself.. over how you are.. over possessing feelings that are wrong but somehow are finding trouble in doin something about it.. when the harder you try, the worse it seems to get... multiply that by knowing the fact that being in that state puts you in the position of losing something so good.. something that has been making you feel in a way you havnt been feeling for so long..

so why do some people still feel incomplete when theyve been given the best they can possibly ever have?.. What is missing in this sense of perfection.. Is it perfection itself being too hard to believe, hence bringing the thought "Do i deserve this?"... But maybe its actually fear.. fear that you might never be as good as expected in return...

Its really late now.. should be giving my mind a rest.. this i know it deserves..

XXIII blogged @11:25 AM;

Monday, February 19

Went out today coz i dint wanna be a bummer at home.. noticed a lotta shops closed today..Oh also noticed a lotta good underwear on sale when i was walkin around at Huaho.. Manzy, u gotta check the out, they've got sweet lacey types.. hehe.Nway, headed to TPH to get some noodles tapi tutup but TK's yummy Penang Kuey Teow saved the day.. had it with lots of chillies.. yumm i love those bits of chilli padi, they make food taste so great and can just get me munchin continously!! hehehe.. Went walkin aroun after dat and randomly got suggested to get a haircut.. checked in on Jenny at the Essensuals.. aik jua she could spare me a coupla mins out of her tight schedule.. lovin the cute fringe she gave.. nway, gtg watch a footie match now..but before that..

*shoutout*
Happy Chinese New Year to my babe, Lim Wang Ee and family.. Missin you a lot now and am still counting down the time til when i can meet you again. *hugs tight*

XXIII blogged @12:20 AM;

Saturday, February 17

Just got back from watching the malay movie - Kabhil Kushi Kabhil Ligham... Wasnt really my choice to watch it and i kinda fell asleep n certain parts of the movie.. too much sadness in it, kalah wayang hindustan.. it just kept adding and ading up sampai it became predictable and boring.. dint really like the way it ended jua.. inda bisai lah. I think the other people in the cinema enjoyed it much more than i did..

So nway, my eyes are quite heavy.. dint really get much sleep after i woke up to sounds of manz trying to break into my room at 7 am for an eyeliner.. haiyoyo.. the depths girls would go to just for beautifiers.. hehehe.. oh well..

I guess misunderstandings are inevitable.. usually started by assuptions one makes of the other.. Was caught up in that the day before.. sucks.. all i could do was just hush up and take in whatever thrown at me coz was too tired to speak up after bad previous hours.. I have to say it really sucks.. and sometimes i just get too lazy to make it right.. but glad this one worked out on its own.. hope there wont be any days like that again coz i hate being alone in the dark with a swarm of hungry blood sucking mosquitoes for hours.. *sigh*

XXIII blogged @2:24 AM;

Wednesday, February 14

I just went out of the exemption exam five minutes ago.. Was the first to leave the room, but im not really worried coz it was pretty easy.. hope i get exempted again so i dont have to attend those long boring English classes. hehe.. Im feelin like a porker now.. i dont know why i get so bloated so easily, when all i ate for lunch was just three cute pieces of sushi.. was prolly the excess consuption of hot green tea in between.. haiyo.. Something needs to be done about this.. hehe. Baik jua the squash club is playing karang.. Gna join em and follow it up with a coupla rounds on the red track.

Something funny happened today.. Its Valentine's Day and im used to recieving things and roses in the past.. but lately i had made an earlier pact not to celebrate it anymore, this year onwards.. and so, recieving a rose was the last thing on my mind.. Having lunch at Escapade was a pretty random decision, food was delicious, smell was great.. and at the end, as usual taking tons of white hacks from the tray by the cashier.. hehe. Thing is today, was different.. the cashier had me surprised by handling over a red rose saying "Happy Valentine's Day!". I really liked it, really sweet when unexpected.. It got me smiling in the car, thinking that even when i try to quit Valentines Day, a rose would still find its way to me.. *giggles*

Im still trying to figure out a place for my two month work attachment thing this semester.. I really dont know where and under which department siuk.. Thing is i need to decide by tonight and let the lady in charge know about it esuk.. right now, im thinkin either MFA, the Brunei Press, the Museum or RTB... i cant seem to decide whats my first choice going to be... tsk! mana baik ah...

XXIII blogged @3:55 PM;

Monday, February 12

I dont fancy farewells.. they end up making me feel low-spirited.. especially when its a bestfriend thats got to go.. Sent Fidz off yesterday.. Yes u people, she hasnt left.. she tricked me and said that she left weeks ago.. and i ended up in tears that night knowing i hadnt had the chance to see her, but last week she planned a surprise at Amsarra to break the prank and it worked.. i couldnt believe me eyes when i saw her.. I was just told to go there for Eva's party.. tapi rupanya it was a scam.. the real occasion was a doa selamat for Fidz.. Upon meeting her that night, i dint let go of a long hug as soon as i could get hold of her.. and all she did was laugh and tell me not to cry coz she knew how easy tears could flow when it comes to me..

And yesterday, the day at the airport.. tsk tsk tsk.. was pretty ruffled coz i knew how weak i'd get seeing someone leave.. Seeing her hug her relatives, her brothers so tight with tears in her eyes.. daym.. i just brokedown when she came up to me giving me her goodbye hug.. She made me promise i would take care of myself now that she cant be around me anymore and she told me she'd not forget me til she achieves her dreams.. Tears flooded my eyes.. I owe her so much for always being there for me when i needed a crying shoulder, a helping hand or when i needed to turn a bad day around.. Everything about me she knew.. The right things to say just to crack me up when im quiet and stuff.. She was like a sister to me, nothing else i could ask for.. Really hope she'll be alright far away and hope she comes back with a smile and so much more.. I'll be missing her presence so bad.. :'( *sigh*

P/s: Deepest thanks to the one who made it possible for me to see her at the airport.. *hugs*

XXIII blogged @6:17 PM;

Friday, February 2

Was kinda bummed out yesterday.. when Manz told me that Iz was leaving.. i mean i did get a text from her but i dint really knew what she meant by she wasnt going to be around.. pikir macam salah antar or something.. coz the thought of her leaving was just far from my mind.. It sucks knowing it tho... i mean at first it was Wangee.. the one i who is so caring and concerned about anything i go through.. then followed by another bestfriend Fidz.. who left me without wanting to meet up, with fear that we both might breakdown.. and know when im already able to comfortably confide in Iz, she's leaving me too.. :-( i remember one guy who made a promise to me, knowing all that.. he promised me that no matter what happens, he'll still be there for me as a friend.. but never stayed that way.. thats life huh.. pretty darn unpredictable..

But oh well.. im so so happy for Iz and i hope she's gna have a great time there.. N probably come back with a hot Korean dude? hahahah.

XXIII blogged @9:31 PM;

~ XXIII ~


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~ Remember, Just Remember ~


When things are down

And you are out of your mind

Remember just remember

Allah is the Kind



When your life is in darkness

And nothing is right

Remember just remember

Through the darkness, Allah is The Light


When nothing makes sense

And you are heading for demise

Remember just remember

It doesn't make sense, but Allah is The Wise


When times are troubled

And no one seems to care

Remember just remember

Allah won't hurt, He is The Fair



When your heart is breaking

And your pain makes you fall

Remember just remember

Allah sees it all



When you are weak

And the road seems long

Remember just remember

Seek strength from The Strong



When life is a burden

And everything is unstable

Remember just remember

Allah is The Able



When the way is cloudy

And there is no one by your side

Remember just remember

Allah is The Only Guide



When no one wants to listen

Or is willing to lend an ear

Remember just remember

Allah is always ready to hear



When you are poor and penniless

And you are stuck in a niche

Remember just remember

Allah is The Rich



When you are down in your misery

And there is nowhere to run

Remember just remember

You can always run to The One



And when your scars are hurting

And your heart is in fear

Remember just remember

Allah is really here.