I dont really know where to start.. went back home yesterday with feelings i cant really describe.. i have been in relationships that have given moments feeling like im on a pedestal and moments when i feel like im rock bottom.. Been through so much in the past five years.. A big bag of experience to carry on my back.. The worse times had made me beg and pray for the best in life.. trusting tuhan and not giving up hope that one day true happiness will come.. but when it does, i want to feel that i deserve it.. Its hard to be perfect, that i know.. its not easy fighting temptations or staying on the right track and we as human beings have weaknesses that we have to overcome..

I have to admit that i have been thinking for years about living the right way.. being scared hearing stories about the hereafter.. but you know.. being in a relationship makes it even harder because of things you might do.. for awhile your back on track but after time, you lose your way again..not easy at all.. its hard finding a partner thats willing to love you for who you are and love you enough to care so much about you and how you are gna be in the hereafter.. Hence for having a heart so great, he would want to be with you and is willing to be in a relationship in which both people would be there as a guiding hand.. reminding each other of the one above, and not to stray.. and just be genuinely in love.. Sounds perfect.. Hard but worth the try..

Went home yesterday with a huge smile on my face.. Some things are just too good to be true.. But if it really is the answer to my prayers.. if it really is real.. i can never thank god enough.. my heart has never felt this grateful.. *happy tears*..